Girl in your Bed? Don’t be a White Knight to Yourself.

This story takes place long ago in college… a college where I was so ingrained in a blue pill lifestyle that I started to get a skin tone like Violet Beauregarde post three-course-meal gum in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

Anyway, I was one of four folks who were hanging out in J’s and my apartment one night. J and his girlfriend M (they were in a LTR) were with T (18yo female with a rockin’ body) and me (20yo at the time). We were relaxing in J’s room and just shooting the shit. J, M, and T are all sitting on the bed and I’m sitting on the floor up against the bed; there was something happening with my back earlier that day and the 90-degree angle I was able to sit in was actually helping.

J and M started getting really cuddly while T slid toward me from the bed and threw her leg from the knee down onto me so her calf and foot were lightly resting against my chest. I figured “what the hell” and started caressing her leg and kissed her calf; she got right off the bed and came down to sit on the floor next to me.

She lies her head against my shoulder and I put my arm around her with my head against hers. We start talking. Looking back now I know she was obviously attracted to me with the way she looked at me and the flirty conversation. She bit her lip and everything; I know I was a dumbass but I actually wound up doing something much more stupid a few minutes after. Go big or go home, right?

It’s already late at night by this point and she asks if there’s an available bed. About the only thing I did right from that point forward was saying “Hell yeah. Mine.” We sit there for a few minutes longer and then she gets up, takes my hand in hers with interlocked fingers, and leads me to my room. She gets in my bed and smiles at me and says “Come here” in that seductive voice that gives us men the crotch tickles.

Given the way this story has gone so far my next actions will most likely be unsurprising. It went like this:

> Me: “I don’t think so”

> T: “Why not?”

> Me: “I’m going to sit here and watch the door as you sleep, m’lady” (yes, I actually said m’lady to her)

> T (disappointed): “Okay…”

A few hours go by. It’s now roughly 4 AM and she stirs awake. The Symphony of Dumbass continues:

> T (groggily): “Come cuddle meeeee….”

> Me: “Still watching the door, my dear”

> T (disappointed yet again): “Damn it…”

She falls back asleep. When she wakes up in the morning, the full scope of my dumbassery hits me like a freight train hauling a ton of bricks. She says goodbye to me with an expression not unlike a glare mixed with derision. I tried to get in contact with her over the course of the next few days since I actually did like her but couldn’t believe she wanted me to bed her but it was to no avail. I had effectively cockblocked myself by being my own goddamn white knight.

Years later I swallowed the red pill and have arguably had a much better life. I take absolutely zero shit at work, lead by example, speak directly to my team and in the conference room, and don’t let anyone rule my life other than me. I still look back on this experience and cringe; let this be yet another lesson for all of ya especially the guys who are new to the lifestyle.

TL;DR Had a girl invite herself into my bed. Didn’t pounce on the chance like a cheetah on the Serengeti and actively screwed myself out of it instead.

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