I’m writing this post at the behest of my therapist regarding my prior dependence on alcohol since I beat it entirely with the force of willpower alone (you may have read about some of it with my post Re-igniting the Fire); it was a lot worse than I had previously let on.
Yes, I have a therapist; she has known me for the better part of the last twenty years and is probably more in tune with me than my closest friends. It really helps to have an objective third party listen to the things you need to say regardless of what those things are. She knows, though, that if I’m being an idiot she needs to tell me so I can get my head on straight. It’s immensely helpful and I’d go as far as to suggest that everyone should see a therapist at least once in their lives (don’t discuss Red Pill stuff with them, though).
I used to be a drunk dickhead for years; that should just about describe it and set the stage for what’s to come. When I decided to stop my first thought was regarding what I would be losing if I gave up the bottle. Obviously I’d be losing the kind of feeling I used to get from being blitzed out of my mind; admittedly it’s a pretty nice feeling until you overdo it. My main problem, though, was two-fold:
- My stomach had been hurting something fierce and it was only getting worse as I guzzled more and more bullshit
- I was turning into an absolute fatass by putting on around 20 pounds of fat with all the empty calories (again, I wasn’t working out during this period since the whiskey family lowers your testosterone) and I was the wrong kind of asshole (angry and combative for absolutely no reason)
Nobody wants to have a constant pain follow them all throughout life and have it prevent any kind of meaningful interaction with anyone of either sex in particular. You’ll never want to go out and meet new people (or interact with existing ones) since you will always feel that pain and nagging doubt in the back of your mind before you decide to break out of your shell. You wind up looking at the world in a much more malicious way and hate practically everything and everyone if you sink far enough into the pit that I had found myself in after years of guzzling alcohol.
Specifically, I considered the following four criteria when I decided to analyze my problem (and you can really do these questions for any addiction):
- Who am I hurting?
- Am I ashamed?
- How much money am I expending by doing this?
- How would I be better off by stopping?
Let’s go over these in order:
Who am I hurting?
I was hurting myself above anyone else; you have to look out for yourself above all since nobody else will do that for you. If you’re fucking yourself over constantly and ensuring you can’t push forward towards your goals you need to stop and take stock of your life. I guarantee that you’ll find some kind of thing that motivates you to get back on the right track. You’re your best ally and you need to prioritize yourself above all in order to achieve anything significant.
Am I ashamed?
Of course I was ashamed. I was hurting both myself and the people I loved. I hated seeing the looks in the eyes of my friends, family, and significant others; seeing how other people look at you will be the best motivator you have if you give even the smallest of shits about how the outside world perceives you. If you’re a man you absolutely need to think about how others perceive you even to the smallest degree since the recognition will do nothing but help you both in your professional and personal lives if you choose to take them in the correct direction.
How much money am I expending by doing this?
Liquor isn’t cheap. I expended a significant portion of my paycheck each month to feed my habit and I had nothing but a fat gut and a shitty temper to show for it. I’m not at all saying that people shouldn’t drink; hell, if you want a beer every so often you’re absolutely within your right to have one as I certainly am as long as you keep it under control. However, the problem arises when you put more and more booze down your gullet and start acting out against the ones that love you as a result with no other recourse other than “Oh I’m sorry, I was drunk”. “I’m drunk” is not an excuse for women to act however they want and it’s damn sure not an excuse for men to do whatever they feel like. “I’m drunk” or “I was drunk” is indicative of a significant weakness that pervades the very fabric of who that person is, woman or man.
How would I be better off by stopping?
The benefits are almost innumerable here. Once I stopped I realized I could have more meaningful interactions with everyone. I stopped accepting the fact that people would walk all over me at work and actively started fighting back regardless of who the person was; I once again gained the respect of my team by doing so and they had nothing but the utmost confidence in me since I made sure I looked out for them. I feel as though a haze has been lifted off me and I’m able both to think and speak more clearly. Breaking an addiction such as mine will do nothing but help you in the long run if you suffer from such a thing.
So what’s my point? Some people need Alcoholic’s Anonymous (AA) in order to sit around with other like-minded people and discuss and solve their addictions as a group; others just need to put their minds to the problem at hand and attack it until it no longer presents a threat to their state of mind or body. Thankfully I was the latter and was able to attack my weakness and turn it into a strength; once you beat a chemical addiction you can do damn near anything without a second thought.