On Friendship and the Dichotomy Within

The guys over at Return of Kings, Chateau Heartiste, and The Rational Male have covered this concept and its underlying causes fairly well. Regardless, this post will detail my take on the subject and specifically the differences between male and female friendship.

Male Friendship

Male friends tend to value each other as people and stand with each other when the shit hits the fan. Take your average motorcycle club (MC) for example. Sure, the guys there may reek of beer and piss (especially if everybody else urinated on his vest after the guy finished his prospect period to become a full-fledged member and he has refused to clean it) but there’s something there that is indicative of how males care for each other in a pack: a deeply-rooted altruism and a watchdog mentality. Don’t give me any of that bullshit about the one-percenters either; I grew up around a lot of the 1% MCs and the majority of their members are great guys who just love to ride. There are bad apples in any group regardless of the context but unfortunately they’re the ones that get the most publicity.

Getting back to my point: I’m not talking about the kind of dick who uses the word friend freely where it would usually mean acquaintance; I’m talking actual and therefore close friends. I’d go as far as to say these men see each other as brothers close to the relationship that blood-line and familial brothers have. Once bonded, they watch each other’s back with a fierceness that is unrivaled anywhere else.

Essentially, men who are friends watch out for each other and attempt to keep things in perspective. I know I can trust any of my true friends to tell me when I’ve fucked up or when I’m going down a nasty path despite how shitty it may make me feel. I expect it because I trust them; I’m willing to listen even when I’m being an idiot. I’d do the same for them any day and that fosters something akin to the aforementioned closeness.

Female Friendship

This is where things get a bit hairy (or a lot hairy depending on the person). An interesting issue arises here in that females are all for helping each other on the surface yet will strike down and attack each other at the slightest provocation if they feel it would be beneficial.

Two-Face from Batman

No, not that Two-Face. However, the interaction is absolutely two-faced. Yes, I know that was a bad analogy and a ba-dum-tiss; you can direct all subpoenas and hate mail regarding my blatant attempts at comedy to jessica@jezebel.com. I’m sure she’d love to be privy to the wrath of the evil patriarchy’s hatred of one of its own. It’s all in the name of equality, right?

What female wouldn’t stab her so-called friends in the back for a shot at the oft-desired swole alpha male? Regardless of what anyone else may say, females are out for themselves just as much as men are but they aren’t willing to be up-front about it and would instead prefer to hide it behind their “OMG!” and “Better check my phone every five fucking minutes for new texts from orbiters otherwise my self-worth disintegrates without a constant stream of validation” culture (AWALT). That’s one of the biggest things that separates the two genders (yes, there are ONLY TWO).

The biggest danger to female friendship is that any one of them will stray from the pack if the opportunity to “trade up” or differentiate herself from the group presents itself. Women flake, not just on men but on each other.

Can Men and Women be Friends?

If the male side of the equation wants to bed the female side, there’s absolutely no way. That previous sentence disqualifies probably about 95 percent of male-female friendship dynamics. Otherwise, rock on, especially if you see that woman as a sister; nobody barring the sick fucks would try to bed their blood-relative sister (step-sister is fair game, though).


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