Getting Too Close – Update

I have an update for you all.

I worked a case with my group today.

Within two hours of being notified we had the bastard and got him in custody.

He was propositioning a twelve-year-old girl.


After the two major losses I talked about in my last post I needed a damn victory. Holy shit… I’m elated.


Getting Too Close


Those of you that know me know that there are certain things I see as absolutely abhorrent in life… and I mean abhorrent. They burn a fire of anger in my core.

I can deal with situations that are awful as well as help others through said situations. I do it regularly and I don’t give it a second thought; I’m there to help. There are some things, however, that stick with you. Certain things I have a hard time letting go. These are the things that change you and that cause problems sleeping.

Even when nothing comes of it you still feel dirty and you still feel as though you have failed even if there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. I’ve had two in the past month and it’s taken everything I have to come back from the edge and keep fighting because people depend on me.

I didn’t know how to deal with any of these things at the time. Both of these incidents involve my investigations and involve me dealing with and confronting the worst in humanity. Moreover, these involve children.

I firmly believe that the last thing a child molester should hear is the report of a twelve-gauge being fired at his head and the last thing he should ever see is 00-buck flying toward his eyes.

One of the things I’ve also learned is that you can’t save everyone. I’ve had to learn that lesson the hard way and I think I will probably have to keep learning it since I cannot stop when it comes to cases like these.

First Incident

The Build-Up

About a year ago, a fairly interesting individual joined my department at work. He was a charismatic person and had a similar personality both to my best friend there and me as well. Needless to say, we took to him quickly and he quickly became accepted into our small group of silly assholes. We would all tell awful jokes just to make each other laugh and we could all play off of each other. He seemed like one of us.

Looks can be deceiving, however. As time went on we learned that he did not necessarily match up with the image with which he had presented himself. We had trusted him to manage our products and deployment timelines and he was incapable of doing so since our deadlines consistently slipped.

It wasn’t his fault that the deadlines were slipping but it was the way he was reporting it that was dishonest. We would tell him that we had deadlines planned for several months and we would have our teams re-structured and then the project plans would only show extensions of about a week; this went on for several months.

Eventually our boss realized the dishonesty and confronted him. He wasn’t able to defend his actions and was promptly let go on the spot since he was still within his probationary period. This is where the story gets interesting and takes an awful turn; up until this point I had considered this guy a friend.

The Investigation

Not too long after the guy was let go, my boss came to me with a request that I wasn’t used to based on his personality. I’d worked for him for years and it still caught me by surprise.

Boss: “Hawk, I need you to do something for me”
Me: “Sure, what do you need?”
Boss: “Look through his laptop”, he said as he handed me the guy’s laptop
Me: “Okay… what am I looking for?”
Boss: “Any documents he had that we need. If you come across anything inappropriate, document it and keep moving”
Me (knowing my boss well enough to know something was up): “Sir?”
Boss: “We’ll talk later”
Me: “Understood”
Boss: “I don’t need a full forensic investigation” (this statement was a red flag to me)
Me: “Then what the hell am I looking for?”
Boss: “There might be some pornographic material on that laptop” (the department purchased the laptop so it was company property)
Me: “Might be?” (at this point I’m convinced I’m not getting the full story)
Boss: “Again, I’ll tell you later”
Me: “Got it. I’m on it” (I now know that he knows I’ll find something)

I began my investigation. I went through the entire laptop and I picked up four artifacts of pornographic material left on the hard drive. It was definitely disgusting (I didn’t know the guy had a scat fetish) but nothing was illegal. I made my report and called it a day. We turned the laptop over to the central IT department to do an official investigation but I was confident in my findings since they were right in front of me.

A few days went by without incident and everything had gotten back to normal.

My boss pulls me aside at the end of the week with this look in his eyes. I’d seen that look before and I’ve seen it since; he’s hiding something from me and he’s trying to figure out how to tell me.

Boss: “I want to give you an update on his laptop”
Me: “Okay, shoot”
Boss: “They didn’t find anything inappropriate on it”
Me: “Of course they didn’t. They’re completely fucking incompetent!” (I used that exact language; I was PISSED).
Boss: “I know. They are. But they also didn’t find anything to be provided to the police department”

Now, I’ve worked with law enforcement in the past and I’m still directly associated with a police department now. I now had more questions than answers since I had never had any inkling that this would need to go to the LEOs. My boss also knows my history working with law enforcement as well as my current status so I’m certain he was telling me as professional courtesy.

Me: “…why would it need to go to the police department?”
Boss: “The child porn”

I lost it at this point and it was directed entirely at him. My boss and I see a lot of each other within each other so there are certain things we only say to each other. We’ve also had a lot of the same life experiences and there are some things only I’m allowed to say to him and sometimes vulgarity is necessary to accentuate the point.

Boss: “I thought I mentioned it”
Me: “The hell you did! You need to tell me what’s really going on here!”

I was beyond pissed that something like that had been hidden from me especially when all I want to do is put pedophiles behind bars and my boss knows it. What came next was a real shit sandwich:

Boss: “I was told about this not too long ago but the person that told me sat on it for about five months”
Me: “What the fuck…” (my eyes were red with anger by this point)
Me: “The evidence was GONE when I investigated! I could have caught this asshole if I had just been told when it happened!”

He then proceeded to tell me how it had been discovered entirely by accident by another employee when she was working on the guy’s laptop. A whole bunch of browser tabs had popped open with the content in it; at least the guy wasn’t smart.

This bastard got away and as far as I know he still hasn’t paid for possession of child porn. These people don’t stop; I just want someone to nail him before he escalates to hurting some innocent kid. All I hope for is that my equivalent finds him and catches him at the next company this asshole goes to. Once he’s behind bars then justice will have been served.

Second Incident

The Build-Up

My second case in this tale came about a few weeks ago. This one genuinely pissed me off since I looped in both one of my LEO friends as well as a former police psychologist so the three of us could work this together as a team. These cases are hard since having a victim open up is always difficult but there are times you can’t help feeling like you’ve gotten the run-around; it’s especially difficult when the victim is a child.

I’m a member of a fairly-large group of people who have either grown up around the military, are current/former military, or have an affinity for the military. I’m also a member of several LEO groups. This isn’t me dick-measuring with anyone but it’s just me mentioning how I see things and how I hear about things.

One of the members got wasted and posted his ex-girlfriend’s number in the group under the heading “Fucking Bitch”. I figured something wasn’t right so I texted her. I didn’t exactly know what I was getting myself into at that point. I soon found out.

The Investigation

I texted her and found out she lived across state lines from me. That immediately presented itself as a problem since I was now needing to operate within the laws of her state and not that of her home state. I learned them quickly so that did not present itself as an issue.

She and I began talking more and I found out she was seventeen. I had previously looked-up the area code of her phone and had found that it was within a certain state and our discussions had confirmed it; the age of consent there was lower than my home state. That in and of itself made me uneasy but I pressed on as a good investigator.

The entire time I wanted her to see me as a friend and we were just having a friendly conversation about life. We told each other stories about stuff that had nothing to do with what I was actually driving at but I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable by attacking the issue immediately.

She wound up giving me information and all kinds of details. I figured I could nail her asshole ex-boyfriend on statutory rape since the year where they had dated and had been sexually active had been before she could legally give consent since she had told me her birthday. She was very open about details and seemed like she was working with me toward that resolution.

Once I wanted to take it to law enforcement and get the bastard put away, she suddenly decided that nothing had happened. My entire case fell apart in a minute. I could not proceed at all. I had spent three days talking to her and getting her to open up to me; she divulged details.

Unfortunately, when I asked again when they had dated and had been active she gave me two different years and couldn’t remember. If it was one year she would have been able to give consent legally; if it was another it would have been statutory. That irritated me more than anything; I had the bastard and now he was being protected and the person that I had considered the victim was the one protecting him.

I contacted my LEO friend that I had looped-in and told him what was going on and there was really nothing I could do according to him either. To this day I feel like she was protecting him and just didn’t want to get him in trouble.


I had two massive failures in a row. One would have been bad enough but the two compounded each other. I didn’t know what to do with myself.

I wound up falling into a shitty feeling that took over a week to climb out of since I felt like I had two failures (though only one I was directly involved in).

Sometimes you can’t help people and it’s a hard reality of life. It’s one I’m still struggling to accept but I’m getting better at it. It’s absolutely still a hard pill to swallow since I want to help everyone. I got too close in both of these cases and I suffered for it.

I solved it by immersing myself in my work outside of all of this. It gave me something to focus on that had nothing to do with child cases since they really bothered me.

The “Nice Guy” Cure

1. Right Out of the Gate

Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Do you wonder why no woman ever wants you?
  2. Do you keep yourself up at night with fantastical visions of a perfect life with a perfect wife?
  3. Do you want a lifelong commitment without a modicum of effort?

Do these questions seem familiar to you?

Okay, maybe you’re not the loser I described. Are you on the sidelines, though? Are you the kind of person that never seems to get the girl but always winds up wiping away her tears? Can you just never get a break?

Are you doomed to playing the fool your entire life?

There are two answers here: the short answer and the long answer. The short answer is that it is absolutely possible to break out of your shell. The long answer is that it is going to take some work and some serious introspection. Are you ready for that? Only you will know for sure.

Be aware that this in no way guarantees you will attain the object of your affection. In all honesty I couldn’t care less. You will, however, learn to see the world the way that it is and without the rose-colored glasses through which you have been conditioned to see life.

Read on, son… you might just learn something!

2. The Painful Truth

You’re really not all that nice. As a matter of fact you’re most-likely a dick as well as someone that would easily collapse in a fight. There is nothing physically or mentally redeeming about you. You have absolutely no physical merit and the psychological prowess upon which you pride yourself is laughable at best. You tell yourself that you are somehow superior to “the others” and you live your life based on that which you have completely invented in your own mind. There is truly nothing redeemable about you. Why should anyone, let alone women, want to spend their time around you?

You’ve never been tested in combat. I’m not talking about playful fighting; I’m talking about serious hand-to-hand “if you lose, you die” combat. You have never truly been fighting for you life and have never been in a state where a single mistake will end your existence.

If you HAVE ever been in a real combat situation then you have not learned anything about humanity or attraction as a result. Either of those two outcomes results in an individual that is maladjusted to propagate his genes into the next generation: in essence, there is no hope for you.

That stings, right? The problem exists entirely within YOU. You can blame others as much as you want; however, at some point you have to take responsibility for your situation.

There is, of course, a cure. That cure, however, comes with a heavy dose of self-analysis first and a desire to fix that which is wrong. If you do not have the intestinal fortitude to do so then you should stop reading at this point; it only gets more difficult from here. If you do possess the requisite strength and desire for self-improvement then you may absolutely continue on.

3. The First Step

The first step is admitting you’re not able to summon the courage to go and approach women in real life. Online games and dating sites (OKCupid, EHarmony, PlentyOfFish, etc) do not count; you need to out and have real interactions with real people. Without face-to-face interaction you’re pretty much doomed.

I know that it absolutely seems frightening at first. Anything worth doing takes practice, right? I’m not a fan of e-sports (you all need to be outside playing real sports) but I can use it in an analogy. Let’s take a common game (CS:GO) as an example:

  • You need to have individual skill to succeed at certain maps in CS:GO
  • You need to work well in a team to succeed at certain maps in CS:GO

There is at least one condition in which you have to work well as a team in order to succeed. In order to work well in a team you cannot do anything you want to do at any given time; you need to make sacrifices for the forward momentum of the team as a whole. The team depends on the actions of all of the individuals combined.

Once you can function without thinking entirely of yourself you are ready to move on to the next step.

4. The Second Step

Approach, approach, approach.

Human interaction may be terrifying. It’s similar for anyone that is trying to free themselves from the shell they have constructed.

You already know you can provide for yourself. You already know you can provide for your team. That says nothing regarding people outside of either of these two groups. In order to engage with people outside of your comfort zone you have to break from your normal routine and talk with individuals with whom you would otherwise have nothing in common.

Still a gamer? Get “Pokemon Go” onto your phone (Android or iPhone). It will get you outside and will open you up to an immense amount of possibilities. Spend some time in your town going around and catching Pokemon. It may seem stupid at first but the more you do it you will see the potential benefit. The more you see the potential benefit the more you will be in a position to reap it.

A large amount of the college-age population has decided to go out and hunt for Pokemon on their phones. It will absolutely seem silly at first based on the previous paragraph but consider the results:

  1. You’re actively walking around. You won’t be merely taking up space.
  2. You’ll eventually know the lore and can talk intelligently about it.
  3. Being active equates to exercise. Physical activity augments or replaces intellectual capability and creates a well-rounded person.

You can speak ill of the phone app all you want but the results speak for themselves.

5. The Third Step

Stop believing the crap you see on /r/seduction (seddit) and instead focus on your goals. Ask yourself these three questions:

  1. What do you want to accomplish in your life?
  2. What do you need to attain your goals?
  3. What is standing in the way of accomplishing your goals?

At this point you should have already gotten to the point where you realize you are in control of your life and you are the only person that should be held accountable. You have already removed all toxic influences.

Your task at this point? Go forth and make what you want out of life!

What the Hell, Hawk?

Suffice it to say I have not been around too much lately. The last thing I posted was my instructions for cooking a roast in a pressure cooker. Despite the fact the recipe resulted in a delicious end result the general goal of the site had not been met.

What was the goal, you ask? The original goal of this site was to help men break from the shackles of their own self-demonization and to realize their potential as individuals. The language used is often direct and at times caustic but that is the only way that some folks will learn. I see absolutely no merit in the “safe spaces” being demanded by people either currently-attending or admitted to college. The concept of a “safe space” is contrary to the foundation of our society and has no place in a free exchange of ideas. That is a subject for a different day.

Why have I been gone, you ask? Simply put I have been focusing on the well-being of my students. They come before everything. They derive the benefit of tutilege in an environment free of societal judgment. Suffice it to say they are free to grow.

I have not forgotten about you all and I can comfortably say you have not forgotten about me. I went onto my Twitter account for the first time in God-knows-how-long, made a statement, and was IMMEDIATELY greeted with supportive responses. Apparently you all still have some kind of love for me and for that I am immensely grateful.

Keep your heads high and your necks strong. I always have something brewing!

One for the Road


I think it’s adorable that you think that. You may even be out in the street marching with the rest of the idiots that champion the cause. There’s only one problem: it’s an empty cause and the only reason you march is to make you feel better about yourself. The people whose lives matter aren’t the ones marching blindly in support of a vapid cause; they’re in the labs searching for cures to contagious diseases. They’re in the shelters making lost children feel better about themselves and keeping them from falling into the influences of the street gangs. They’re preventing the domestic violence victims from living in fear and giving them a place to feel safe. Those who rally around the people serving their community will see the lives of those who truly matter.

The Uncomfortable Truth

Do you believe that a police officer has the right to defend himself? How about when he’s facing down an idiot wielding a gun? Would you rather that officer allow himself to be shot? I personally don’t want to live in that world and I’m more than happy to see a piece of trash get sent to meet his maker than a good man be filled with lead. As far as I’m considered if you are wielding a firearm in the presence of a police officer without trying to defend other good men then you deserve everything you get; if you’re killed that’s just the way it goes. You shouldn’t have done something stupid.

Putting It In Perspective

Do I care? No. Do I really care about anyone? No. Human life is practically worthless to me since it’s wasted on the majority of people that have the privilege of wielding it. If I were to disappear from this Earth tomorrow I can guarantee there would only be a small gathering of people who would mourn my loss. The rest of you would go on about your lives as if nothing had transpired and I can’t really blame you; that is the nature of the human. We go through life without thinking of consequences and we pursue that which will result in the quickest sense of self-preservation, joy, or satisfaction. We are biologically incapable of caring about our fellow man. In my case, that feeling has been ingrained and I’m frankly happy because of it; I don’t ever have to deal with idiocy because I drop the person as soon as his deepest thoughts rear their ugly head.

Am I callous? Certainly though the reasons I feel this way have come to roost in the last twenty years. Are here other ways I can handle the situation? Of course. Am I fulfilled? Certainly. When the sun sets and all I have left are my thoughts I can only ask myself one question: am I happy? If I can’t say “I am” at the end of the night then I’m doing something wrong. It sounds selfish but at the end of the day the only person that matters to me is ME; if I’m not happy then I’m going to have a horrible next day and possibly a terrible next week. I’ve learned that you always have to look out for yourself and I no longer have any shame for doing so; I focus on my own happiness and I couldn’t care less about how anyone else feels.

Here’s Where It Hurts

We can see the reasons for our perseverance in the mechanical. When was the last time a One-Armed Bandit offered its condolences for taking your money and not offering any funds in return? When was the last time a Blackjack dealer, the slave to his four or six-deck shoe, offered a genuine and heartfelt apology for the state in which you found yourself? The long and short is that nobody will look out for you but you! You must take responsibility for your own human condition and you must own the fact that only you are in control of your destiny.

Where are the people championing for the white man unfairly gunned-down by his LEO brethren? Nobody cares because his skin color is the same as the person who cut him down. Why should his death be worth any less than someone who happened to be a different race than the person who shot him?

The police have gotten quite a bad reputation these days. Far be it from me to say that some of it isn’t well-deserved; however there are bad apples in every bunch and the actions of the many (in this case) shouldn’t be qualified by the actions of the few. The majority of the police are willing to protect and serve in accordance with the oath they took when they were sworn in as peace officers.

The Resolution Cometh

How do such problems be resolved? The primary solution is that groups of people should stop demonstrating in locations where nobody cares about their cause. You Ferguson people? Stop demonstrating in California; the Californians can’t help you and all you’re doing is wasting your breath campaigning on the West Coast. Better yet, stop doing it on college campuses; if you really want to affect change then you should be marching through the streets of your town. The fact you’re marching through cities that have nothing to do with your current plight lends credence to the fact that you’re just trying to be a big bunch of troublemakers and want nothing more than attention. If you truly wanted a solution to your problem then you’d focus all your efforts to your location and let the national media take notice instead of spreading like a virus throughout the country where we will do nothing more than laugh at your cause. Either get with the program or kill your movement where it stands; it’s your choice.


When it really comes down to it you have to ask yourself: which side will you stand with? Will you allow the idiocy to permeate your thoughts or will you accept the logical argument?

OkCupid: Portrait of a Lunatic

WARNING: You may need eye bleach after looking through this post; I prefer ingesting bourbon instead. You’ve been warned.

No trigger warning here; you get one friendly statement of caution (believe me, I’m as surprised as you are) and then if you proceed it’s your own damn fault.

That’s more than enough notice so here we go.

A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words

However, the majority of those words are derivations of “Gross” and “Horrifying”. From the perspective of my readers, though, they are more likely “Why are you doing this to me?” and “I thought we were friends”.

“This can’t be healthy,” I said as I took yet another swig from my now half-empty 750ml bottle of bourbon since I tend to drink like a fish when I write. Once you see the following photos you’ll understand.

Take a look at this tranny (we go head-first into the deep end here):

Turbo Tranny

Most people I know are saying “Yep, that’s a dude” right about now

What’s this guy trying to prove? Apparently he’s trying to convince himself that he’s of the female persuasion and is presumably looking for a thick shaft to fill the only hole that isn’t spewing feel-good identity crisis rhetoric.

Don’t believe that photo is a tranny? I can understand; there are some chicks that look masculine while still retaining some element of femininity. However, this case has absolutely none of the latter and all of the former so we’ll continue.

Posing Gets You Nowhere

Those bedroom eyes are made of heterosexual nightmares.

Getting more clear? I thought so. I’m a glutton for punishment, though, so I must bring up a third photo in order to drive the point home.

Yoga Has Never Been Less Attractive

Never has yoga been less attractive.

Now that we’ve established the absolute male dominance in this person’s body we can delve further into the broken psyche that allows something this lopsided to occur in the first place.

No, I’m not going to give out a link to this person’s profile. I may be a royal asshole but even I have my limits. Lunacy like this needs to stay online in order to be studied and preserved, not lambasted and insulted to the point where it completely disappears and is of no use to anyone. I’m a practical man so I prefer to keep such examples of sheer insanity online so as to serve as a lesson in what not to do; you don’t want it to get scared and delete its profile.

A Solid 10 in Mental Gymnastics

Now we get the joy of analyzing the textual content of this person’s profile.

I am transgender. I completely identify as being female, and I expect others to see me as female as well. I am a pre-op transgender female. Have not had the operation yet, but I very badly want to when I have the opportunity. I do not have both sex organs. That would be a hermaphrodite. I am not a hermaphrodite. Do not message me and ask me to penetrate you. I will not do this. Like I said, I identify as female and do not take the male role during sexual activity, or any other time. Though, I do wish gender roles were not so strict.

Hey, that’s wonderful.

News flash: I’m not sure what transgender means and I’m too lazy to look up a buzzword being shoved down my throat; I’m guessing, though, that it’s a softer way of saying “pre-op transsexual”. Nobody in his right mind will see you as female so you might as well be honest about it.

“I very badly want to when I have the opportunity” says quite a bit about the selfish nature of the people that participate in this abomination of identity. This thing is deliberately straddling the line between male and female. It’s more than willing to identify as a female while recognizing that it’s biologically a male; you can’t have both so you really need to pick one. I’m sorry you’re too much of a coward to embrace what you were given but that’s really not my problem. What IS my problem, however, is the masquerading of someone completely different before you have the biological organs to back up the claim.

“I do wish gender roles were not so strict”. Bullshit; you just want to go into any bathroom or changing room you choose without being looked-at strangely. As far as I’m concerned sex and gender are tightly-coupled when it comes to natural organs (i.e. those with which you’re born): if you have a dick then you’re a male; if you have a vagina you’re a female.

I feel as though I need to say here that I have no problem with homosexual folks since I know that some of you will try to misconstrue my words. To the wannabe SJW I say go right ahead; my words in this very post will vindicate me. There’s a huge difference between the homosexual folks and these abominations; at least the homosexual folks are honest about who they are. I can absolutely support honesty but I have absolutely zero respect for those that pretend to be something that they are not and then try to subvert nature and come up with spurious definitions for whatever idiocy with which they choose to identify.

The Insanity Continues

This winner can’t be summarized in one paragraph so let’s analyze this (good movie, by the way):

Sex and gender are two different things. Sex is biological. Gender is how one identifies. Sex reassignment surgery is listed as a viable treatment for transgender people because it would cause a lot of psychological harm to try to change a person’s gender identity, so surgeries are available. If you can’t change the mind to adapt to physical appearance then you change the physical appearance to reflect the identify of your mind (how one identifies).

Now, to make this clear, I am an alien. I also have a more evolved view on sexuality and gender. I believe it is wonderful to be sexually ambiguous. I do not believe anyone should have to claim a gender or assigned gender roles. Also, I believe everyone should be pansexual. This world would be a better place.

I have chosen to label myself as female not because I believe I am undoubtedly female, but because I believe I am more female than male, as in I have many more feminine qualities, so I believe labeling myself as female would be most accurate and would help me to feel the way I believe I should feel based on how people usually treat many females in this society. Well, in all honesty, I deserve more than how most women are treated in this society, but like I said before, at least it is the most accurate portrayal of my genuine feminine qualities.

Holy hell, where should I start?

“Sex and gender are two different things. Sex is biological. Gender is how one identifies.” If one doesn’t match the other then you get sex reassignment surgery. If you can’t get the surgery for the time being then you suck it the hell up and learn to live with the hand you’re dealt. There are a considerable number of people who have it worse than you and have still found a way to make it work; your idiocy barely registers on my radar in the grand scheme of world problems.

“If you can’t change the mind to adapt to physical appearance then you change the physical appearance to reflect the identify of your mind (how one identifies).” I’ll back you on that. I add an additional stipulation, though, that the two must always match. You can’t be like this guy and be biologically male while claiming to be mentally female; anyone who knows me will agree that I put very little importance on feelings. I believe in things that people can see or experience; a huge difference between what’s biologically available and what’s mentally available is not something that can be handled without significant compromise on one of those two sides.

“Now, to make this clear, I am an alien. I also have a more evolved view on sexuality and gender. I believe it is wonderful to be sexually ambiguous. I do not believe anyone should have to claim a gender or assigned gender roles. Also, I believe everyone should be pansexual. This world would be a better place.” It sounds to me like you’ve been watching too many episodes of South Park and want to believe you’re a “goo-back”. You don’t have a more evolved view on sexuality and gender; you have the same bullshit ideology that your fellow idiots have been parroting for years.

“I do not believe anyone should have to claim a gender or assigned gender roles. Also, I believe everyone should be pansexual. This world would be a better place.” One homogenous gender. Sound familiar again? I come from a background that celebrates differences in the genders; i.e. the biological women can have kids and the men can’t. That’s just how nature works. Don’t like it? Die. I’m not trying to sound like a harsh guy here but if you’re not in tune with the movement of nature then you’ll die out via natural selection.

Get a load of this load:

Also, I am an interdimensionary being, as we all are. I am not physical, but this host body is. I am soul.

E.T. called and he wants his communicator back; call NASA. I’m very much interested in the metaphysical aspect of life but even my investigative mind can’t process the thought that makes “I am not physical, but this host body is” a reality.

How can anyone believe the aforementioned? I find myself asking that quite frequently but at least in this case I can take solace in the fact that the guy is completely insane.


You should message me if you are open-minded, don’t care about me being transgender, or want a friend.

The term “open-minded” is thrown around a lot lately. I’ve noticed that it tends to mean “willing to put up with any insane idea emanating from a mind that doesn’t understand its implications” these days. Given the recent track record of humanity you’re an idiot if you’re open-minded.

Call me anything you want. What it really boils down to is that I’m a rational man that refuses to become the prey of the “progressive” community.

As a whole the human race stands to lose a considerable amount due to these divisions made by nothing more than buzzwords and feel-good ideology.

The Complete Bastard’s Guide to Gender

If you’re a rational person, gender is the exact same as sex: there are two options and that’s where the variety ends. I can sum it up with the following quote: “You’re more than welcome to believe you’re a dragon trapped in a human’s body but basic biology doesn’t work like that, my special-snowflake sweetie-pie”. I have some soul-crushing truth to lay upon you if you are ignorant of the two-party system that Nature has provided for all of humanity.

I’d like to take a moment at the introduction to mention that the article I’m about to reference was written in the Opinion section for the student newspaper of some crappy liberal-arts college. Because it is college-level it is therefore subject to my derision (i.e. I generally won’t take on high-school rags and lower unless the insanity reaches critical levels but college publications are free game) and I have thereby set the tone for the rest of my post. You can read it below to get an idea of what I’m talking about:

I’d also like to point out that the author obviously sounds like a guy. This is important since it speaks to an entirely different problem in our society than just some idiot writing about pronouns.

Every Epidemic Has Carriers

I’m not saying that this poor bastard set the events into motion that will eventually collapse our society; he’s obviously not Patient Zero since this has been going on for a while but he’s the one that upsets me the most. Just like Morgan Freeman and Dustin Hoffman (see Outbreak if you haven’t) I’m attempting to battle against a rampant disease that pervades the souls and minds of unsuspecting individuals. Contrary to Outbreak, though, this merely leads to mental and emotional death as opposed to drawn-out physical pain and suffering.

Call it whatever you want. I prefer to refer to it as its true form: attention-whoring in the name of equality. As a rhetorical question I’d say “Gee, where have we heard this before?” I’m sure my readers here can come up with tons of examples and I’ve discussed it frequently in the past so I won’t wax poetic on it here.

Tumblr is the most poignant example of when people who have never had to experience any kind of hardship in their lives decide to self-diagnose themselves with mental disorders and pretend to be anything other than human. I can hear you thinking “who would be stupid enough to do this” and there’s only one thing I can say to you: head on over to /r/TumblrInAction for in-the-field examples of this mentality. You can’t go a day without coming across a post regarding how someone on Tumblr is trying to figure out how to come out to his parents / friends / authority figures about how he’s really a dragon / horse / pokemon trapped in a human body.

What can these meatbags teach us? It’s simple, really: be happy you aren’t this insane.

Oppression Where There Is None

In a society where such things are virtually non-existent the perpetually-offended among us must find novel ways in which to bring their drivel to the masses. Such is the content of the article into which I shall attempt to delve.

Option A: “Let’s go around and say your name, your year, your major and where you’re from.”

Option B: “Let’s go around and say your name, your pronouns, your year, your major and where you’re from.”

These are the two options a leader has when directing a group introduction. What’s the difference? Option B is inclusive to students of all genders, discourages assumption-making, makes sure there’s no uncomfortable misgendering later, and shows that pronoun choice is just as deliberate for a cisgendered female using she/her/hers as for a trans person using ze/zir/zirs.

It’s a strong start straight out of the gate.  The only difference between Option A and Option B is not that of inclusiveness but rather that of liberal tautology and the acceptance of mental abnormality that its practitioners seek to be recognized as normal. Of course as a sane society we would never stoop to these levels but it doesn’t stop people like this from trying. You really have to admire their commitment to such an ill-guided cause regardless of how hysterically-repugnant and one-sided it may be.

Mis-gendering, as it is applied here, generally results from a visual defect. In most cases, someone who would otherwise be classified as female decides to make herself look like a twelve-year-old boy. The outrage comes from the fact that we didn’t recognize this “strong independent woman” as anything other than other vapid example of feminism gone crazy. You all know by this time that I call it as I see it and have no qualms referring to such a short-haired pariah as the exact same thing for which she campaigns.

Cisgendered is always code for “please don’t listen to me since my ideas are so meaningless that I have to use a made-up word in order to get anything across to the masses; please agree with me!” Nothing more should be said here aside from the fact that these people are harming legitimate discourse.

False Equality Fails Unequivocally

The article continues with the following mental gymnastics:

Option A: leaves students whose pronouns can’t be correctly assumed with two (often uncomfortable) options.

Option A1: Say their pronouns after their name, singling them out as The One With Different Pronouns.

Option A2: Say just their name like everyone else and have to correct someone later after being all-but-inevitably misgendered.

Just like I alluded above, the solution for the “student(s) whose pronouns can’t be correctly assumed” is to dress like your biological sex. How hard is that to do? If you’re so concerned with being labeled anything different than what you truly are then maybe you shouldn’t have cut your hair in stupid way (for females) or worn fishnet everything (for males). Your alleged “mis-gendering” (and even that hurts me to say since I’m sure it will come about as a legitimate verb) is entirely your fault and that of nobody else. If you don’t like being perceived as a certain identity then you are more than welcome to change it; however, everyone else has the right to draw criticism of your chosen and admittedly stupid identity as it persists. Freedom of speech always translates into freedom from that speech in any free society like this one so be prepared for your detractors.

Attempting to Rationalize Stupidity

No matter where I go, the protest I always hear in objection to doing pronouns is “it’s too big of a question to ask during a quick go-around.”

No. It’s not. The only people who think it’s a big deal to share pronouns are the people who “don’t need to do it.”

Think of it this way: We all have names we go by. Sometimes they’re what’s on our passport, sometimes they’re a variation, sometimes they’re a different name altogether. You might be the seventh Devaughn in your family, you might be named Sumathy after a beloved great-aunt, you might go by a your middle name, Katalyna, to avoid confusion because you share a first name with your mother. But when you introduce yourself, everyone just needs to know your name—what to call you. Pronouns are the same way. While pronouns can carry connotations or stories with them, they’re really just, at the end of the day, what a person wants to be called.

At what point does forced adherence to falseness qualify as “too big of a question to ask”? He follows up with “the only people who think it’s a big deal to share pronouns are the people who don’t need to do it”. Of course that makes perfect sense. Nobody NEEDS to do it. I’m not going to contribute to some liberal-arts student’s mental illness by enabling their insane worldview and I’d like to imagine that at least some of the students at that godforsaken institution feel the same way and are grounded in reality. For the rest: let’s just go ahead and bastardize the entire English language and make our speech completely intelligible with false words and a complete lack of sentence structure. Of course, all of the aforementioned issues are perfectly fine in the vein of political-correctness and including everyone, right? Right?

The Fallacy Expands

Likewise, here’s a conversation you would never have with a stranger.

Person 1: “Hey Sam!”

Person 2: “Uh, my name’s not Sam—it’s Cedric.”

Person 1: “Yeah, but you look like a Sam, so I’m just gonna call you Sam.”

We don’t assume names by looking at people, so why should we assume pronouns?

Of course that’s a conversation you would never have with a stranger and the logical fallacy presents itself here. Calling someone by the wrong name is something that would only be done if you truly couldn’t remember said name but said misgendering is entirely visual. Take one look at an androgynous person and tell me that you didn’t have a difficult time trying to figure out exactly what gender he/she was in order not to offend he/her when it comes to referring to said person. I can almost guarantee that in our “modern” (and I use that word loosely) society everyone has experienced that at least once.

We assume pronouns because they are done entirely on the visual characteristics of the person to which we are referring. That’s just human nature. Are you trying to deny nature? If someone looks like a man we refer to them as a man; similarly, if someone looks like a woman we refer to them as a woman. The dichotomy can best be described in a similar situation that I found myself in earlier tonight. I ventured into my favorite Japanese restaurant looking to procure some sustenance when I saw her: long straight brown hair and dressed in a kimono. It was great and I was absolutely thinking of doing an approach… until she/he/it turned around. What I now saw before me was absolutely a male (I use the word “man” sparingly) who had taken care of his hare and had primped his appearance to appear womanly. I swear this poor bastard was an easy candidate for MtF transition and surgery but I had as much as I could stomach so I grabbed my order and high-tailed it out of there.

Foreigners Aren’t Even Safe

The other protest I’ve heard, especially in my work with kids, is “it’s too complex of a topic.” Again, it’s not. The past two summers, I’ve taught at a program with 13- and 14-year olds, one-third of whom were not from the United States; and, for about as many students, English was not their first language. The first day of class, I asked the students to share their name, pronouns, and other information relevant to the activity we were doing. “Tell us what you want to be called: your name, and what pronouns you want us to use for you, because just like we don’t assume names, we don’t assume pronouns. So for me, I’m Max, and I use ze/zir/zirs or they/them/theirs, and I’m your instructor.”

This guy is absolutely right; it’s not “too complex of a topic”. There are two genders and those that think differently are either complete idiots or mentally-disturbed. Doesn’t sound too complicated to me.

“Tell us what you want to be called” leaves the door open for too many interpretations and further bastardization of the English language. I refuse to call an obvious female a “he” and I’m equally-opposed to calling an obvious male a “she”. Even when I taught I was the exact same way. I don’t play into the politically-correct interpretation for any of this. You can use ze/zir/zirs all you want but you can rest well at knowing that I’m going to reject completely this attack on language and the creation of stupid words. I’m not going to recognize your non-existent gender just because you came up with a few words and made a flag in MS Paint. You have absolutely zero legitimacy and should always be seen that way through your peers. Wanting to re-define language can be your thing and you can own it but don’t expect native speakers to be on-board with your stupid ideas just because you brought them up; that’s not how the real world works. The real world requires proof and you have absolutely none.


Can I really give a conclusion here? The things that I have set forth speak for themselves and if anything is to be concluded it’s that the current state of affairs should reign dominant and that these deviant thoughts should have absolutely no place in our discourse.